A Personal Reaction to Brant Hansen’s “The Men We Need.”
I am a student at Harding University, one of the preeminent Christian universities in the South. The school is unabashed in their willingness to tackle relevant topics to the modern Christian with the student body. Sometimes this probably backfires, but this time, I think they did a good thing. In place of the required daily chapel, for 8 weeks, Harding pursued an initiative to do gender-specific chapels. This was a controversial decision among the student body, and I have my criticisms of the way it played out, but Harding did something cool in the men’s chapel. They covered a book, and at the end of the 8 weeks, they gave us students the book for free. It is called “The Men We Need,” and to be honest, I wasn’t expecting much. However, I am decidedly terrible at reading books. I hadn’t finished a book for fun in a few years, so if anything, this seemed like a good time to try one. And hey, if it wasn’t any good, no harm done: it was free(“free” is usually enough to pique my interest about anything).
Now that I’ve introduced the book to you in this extremely roundabout way, let me tell you how it turned out. I have to say, I am pleasantly surprised. For one, I’m surprised with myself for finishing the book. More importantly, I was surprised with the accessibility, perceptiveness, and pragmatism Brant Hansen has to offer on the subject of the role of the modern man.
To be clear, there is nothing academic about this book. Hansen comes in with a clear Christian perspective and uses stories and personal anecdotes to make his case. He does so in a way that is accessible to the average person. I reckon that is what Harding-U was thinking when they chose to distribute the thing to almost half their student body. Not only does Hansen communicate in plain, informal language, he injects humor throughout, unafraid to be self-deprecating to make his points. He challenges societal convention, arguing that true masculinity has nothing to do with traditional “toughness,” whether you hunt, or how loud and angry you can get. Rather, Hansen emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, commitment, and accountability in the life of men. He appeals across generations, from teenagers to fathers and grandfathers.
“How is this my fault?”. So rings the voice of many an oblivious man, and Hansen takes the time to take these types to task throughout “Men We Need.” He encourages men to think about their actions; To consider how they affect the lives of others. This reinforces the adage that “you get what you give.” This is so true in relationships, and Hansen beckons the men of today to be purposeful, to think about how the things we say and do, and to make decisions that appeal to our God-given purpose to be protectors and role models.
Hansen gets personal when discussing commitment, describing his own fear to commit, his struggle to face problems, and his tendency to fall into idle habits. Commitment within romantic relationships stands out as the main area of growth for men. While society struggles to maintain committed relationships, Hansen encourages men to show that love is more than a feeling, it is a lifestyle. Feelings come and go, but love should involve much more than that, he argues. Love means staying when the passion goes away, denying selfish desires, and pouring out of oneself into the relationship.
Hansen avoids a mistake many Christian talking heads make: Instead of blaming society, he calls upon Christian men to be better. He underscores the consequences of inaction and self-destructive behavior. This is something I needed to hear. So often, I find myself justifying poor behavior by telling myself that there are no victims, or that no one is affected. As Hansen brings to light, this couldn’t be more wrong. It is only in retrospect that we can see how living up to your full potential is world-healing, and consequently, how failing to reach it is destructive.
Allow me opine on this point; A great example of this in practice is NBA basketball(I like finding ways to inject NBA basketball into all aspects of life). Look at the difference between Lebron James and Zion Williamson. Now the jury is still out on Zion Williamson, but allow me to use his career so far as a case study. Lebron was the most hyped recruit in basketball history. He was already on national tv in high school. Drafted to his hometown team, he had the weight of the basketball world on his shoulders. Most people would crumble, turn self-destructive, and squander their potential, but the King is not most people. He not only lived up to the hype, he exceeded it, by taking care of his body, choosing his words carefully, and working his way to 4 championships. Zion Williamson began in a similar place. He was already a superstar at Duke and entered the NBA draft as the most hyped player since Lebron. Unlike Lebron, Zion has spent his career thus far sleeping around and eating his way to a sluggish play style. His work ethic is known far and wide for all the wrong reasons. Whether we as men choose to make changes and live up to our full God-given potential is as vast as the difference between Finals rings and chicken wings.
“The Men We Need” came into my life in a way I wasn’t expecting, but I’m glad it did. It stands as a valuable supplement to the Bible for Christian men wanting to make the most of their spiritual growth, not just as men, but as people. If there is an area Hansen struggles in, it is cohesiveness. Not every chapter included fits into the broader framework of the book, but nonetheless it is an insightful read. The moral of the story is this: next time somebody puts something on your plate that you don’t think you’ll like, give it a chance; It may just pay off like this book did for me.
I suppose that’s not the real moral of the story, that’s just the moral of my story with this book. I’ll include Hansen’s “Six Decisions that Will Set You Apart” below to give you the real moral of the story.
